Birthday wishes

 This disappointing year brought out the worst in my friendships. It’s probably why I didn’t wish to throw even a small party on my birthday. [I had purposefully taken down my birth date from Facebook and, of course, as expected, so many forgot.] It’s not that this date defined our friendship [I consciously wanted to be under the radar in 2020], it’s that – as I told a friend yesterday – I know my worth. I give a lot. I don’t expect to get 100% back from you. But if you can’t even give me 5% love, that’s not a relationship, is it?

I have realised even more this year that being friends in the deepest sense is sharing views – which sadly drove me away from the people who stubbornly stuck to their ways.

There are some people whom I considered my close friends and they completely forgot about my special day – while I tried to make every day special to them. Which adds up as—I cared too much and they didn’t care at all. It’s time to leave. And I’ve already packed my bags.

I did have some really beautiful surprises, however, from people who showed their love and they melted my heart and made me cry tears of joy. In the end, I believe that our energies and feelings should go into two-sided relationships, which have the true potential to grow and bloom.

The thing that I am most grateful for in these moments is the real detachment that I found, after years of trial and error. I am set to continue down this path because it lets me see things even more clearly than before. The power of letting go and crossing on the other side is cathartic.      

What do I miss most/did I lose this year? MY FREEDOM.

Along the same line, I’ve put together some deep wishes that I hope the Universe would process. In the end, every bit of energy we contribute adds to the higher energy of the Planet. Where there’s Good energy, the Bad energy will vanish.

 

I wish…

people would really be kind (not in this manipulative way that the pandemic is shaping our lives, making us look like the bad wolf if we don’t stick to the norms of the society, if we don’t report or frown upon [totalitarian behaviour] people who don’t conform, or if we don’t ultimately act as the biggest hearts on Earth – even though we are not –; I’ve been a supporter of living outside norms for more than half of my life: I don’t intend to get married, baptise my kids, live a traditional life… and I’ve been able to exist as different as I am)

we could protect the Earth, the waters, the animals, all life… in the end… not because of the consequences of our inaction, but because this Planet is our home and we’d do it with love  

 

wars and conflicts would stop all over the world and we’d all live in harmony, with every person’s right to have peace in his/her heart when going to sleep respected, with a secure and safe life respected

 

to be able to travel freely wherever I want, because travel is (for those who truly understand it) knowledge and knowledge means being able to discern between right and wrong

to be able to do what I want and live the way I choose (because I am responsible enough to decide on my own and I do not need anybody to tell me how to live my life and protect those around me… scepticism has grown in me over this year and I’ve become allergic to politics-infected decisions)

to be able to meet and hug whomever I feel like it (as it was before because I’ve had a taste of the normal in Egypt this month… and I loved it, as I loved our way of living… it was by no means perfect, but it had the potential to be improved… while now we are living in an artificially-constructed world reeking of pretence and wishy-washy behaviours)

 

we’d all start calling out bad and dangerous demeanours and encourage people suffering from narcissism and other sociopathic disorders to start acknowledging them and addressing them

 

for the truth to come out in all the places and topics covered in shadow

for the pressure in the world to disappear, for us all to be able to look at a bright sun and lead lives filled with light

for fear to be gone, for people to resume thinking on their own, unwilling to give in to gaslighting and become enslaved to it

 

I believe that we all deserve our chance to choose. You may miss the right turn or the right path, but you’d still live a free life.

And you should respect my right to live my life as I choose as much as I respect yours. No pointing fingers. No judging. No ridiculing.

We have never had freedom in the truest sense of the word but inside our minds and hearts. Sadly, even the freedom that we did have has reached worryingly low levels this year. We should be able to get it back. Not ‘allowed’!

I have a line that has stuck with me for more than 30 years and it comes from one of the stories that shaped my childhood – ‘Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves’. At the end of the story, Ali Baba grants slave Morgiana ‘her freedom’, as the greatest gift of life. 

Well, if you connect the dots, you are surely going to understand me and my perspectives better. That’s the first step towards respect. And acceptance of a different view.